"When in Rome... don't whistle."

How many times have you stood in the middle of a field or paddock, trying to approach a new horse or wily old veteran, and gotten flummoxed as they simply moved off every time you came within reach? You tried coaxing, you tried driving them off, you tried sidling up to them sideways. Nothing seems to work.

We've all been there.

During a recent stint working for a large breeding ranch where we handled horses in the open field on a regular basis, an answer to this predicament came to me. Or, rather, I simply became more aware of what I was doing as I became more successful in approaching and handling horses at liberty. I call it "the horse handshake".

If you want to get along - protocols matter. Every society has formalized greeting rituals - a kiss on one or both cheeks, a salute or a bow. Horses are incredibly good interpreters of body language. As horse people, we can detect and use this language to our advantage - but we have to learn to "listen" with our eyes and "speak" with our physical presence.

As a fairly new horse-person and, therefore, low man on the proverbial totem pole at the ranch - I found myself regularly standing in the middle of a pasture trying to catch one or another wily broodmare for her shots or wormer or to bring her up to the barn for a vet check. In the early months, I often had to rely on the assistance of our local "horse-whisperer" - that stablehand who could walk up to any horse and simply take hold of them. Having just chased that same mare around the pasture for 15 minutes, his uncanny ability constantly amazed me.

But little by little, as my horse skills improved, my calls for assistance diminished until - to my great sense of pride - one day that same stablehand actually came to me to catch a 2 year-old mare who did not want to be handled. Shaking my head in amazement, I wondered what had changed.

I certainly wasn't using any tricks, or equipment, yet I was able to catch and handle horses who had never seen me before, as well as wary broodmares and recipient mares. Even experienced horse people would chase some mares around and around, although they would allow me to simply walk right up to them.

In trying to describe this change to a friend, the answer came to me. You simply have to observe the protocol - what I started calling the "horse handshake".

First - no one wants to talk to a chatterbox. So you must observe QUIET. Remember - we're speaking about motion and position, not sound. In horse-language, that means you must be quiet, confident, and relaxed in your body posture. If you are around many horses for an extended period of time, you will find that your movements naturally become increasingly simple and unhurried, to the point where you are physically relaxed at almost all times.

Second - acknowledge when someone speaks to you. If you are approaching a horse, and they freeze, lift their head, turn to look at you, or even shift their weight away from you - STOP moving. To continue walking forward without pause would be like slapping away a hand someone extended to you, or ignoring the "slow down - dangerous curve ahead" caution sign.

Third - WAIT. When they relax, resume grazing, or stop watching you out of the side of their eyes, they are accepting that your presence does not pose a threat. At this point, you can move forward with much less chance that they will spook or run off.

Fourth - be POLITE. Do not approach directly to their head. You will be more successful at this point if you approach shoulder-to-shoulder, as another (friendly) horse would. Scratch a shoulder or a neck before proceeding to turn and halter your new buddy.

It seems simple - but it is remarkably effective. You may have to STOP and WAIT a few times before they allow you to approach all the way - but you will spend a whole lot less time running around the field, in general. If you are patient, physically calm, and unhurried - you will be successful.

So remember - SHAKE HANDS with your horse. Be aware of what they are saying to you with their body language, and (maybe more importantly) what you are saying (or shouting) with yours.

You are in Rome. So don't whistle.